Crashing

I'm typing this with my eyes closed. As I posted below, drops an eye doc gave me to soothe the eyes when my sinuses were burning rebounded on me. About three weeks ago after using them, I woke up with blurred vision, as if a big smear was across my eyes. My eyes stopped focusing properly. I couldn't see anything..books, tv, across the street...I let it go fora while since I've been chemically sensitive since ME/CFS started and have often had a reaction to chemicals even after using something for a while. In PT when they massaged my foot before doing the resistance exercises for the injury, I had a rash to the cream. Had an ear fungus. Had an allergic reaction to the med for me ear.

I realize I'm repeating some of the below post but I can't see to read it to weed out duplications...sorry.

The problem has gotten worse before it gets better.

Bottom line is I can't look at light, like this screen so can't respond to comments until I'm better.

The eye doctor had to put a stain in the eye to examine then drops to dilate, both of which created more pain. No health problems with the eye per se. He suggested drops to moisten the eye to help it. Yes, I was dumb . I tried them. They burned. I called in, reminding him that it was a chem sensitive reaction that started all of this. He suggested more drops. A friend googled and found the ingredients were almost identical. At this point, I called my internist. He was trained in India and did his residency/internships here. Very holistic . Listens. Has dealt with me enough now to know I react to almost everything. He was very good....suggested I not put anything else in my else and let time take care of it since the eyes were healthy otherwise. He called the eye doctor for me. This is a man who calls for his patients and calls personally when there's a problem. I don't have to talk to a nurse. I talk to him, so I especially value him.

Since I can't email, people have been calling me. Verbal things wear me out as much as physical, something very hard for people who don't have this illness to understand. My throat is raw from talking to much today and I'm so limp I can barely walk. Tomorrow I don't pick up the phone for anyone.

Now, I'll take one quick peek and see if I made any typing errors. Forgive any I missed.

Thinking of you all over the holidays. I'm okay. It's one day at the time.

Pris

Just a note

I'm still struggling with vision problems triggered by n eye drop about 11 days ago. Saw the eye doctor yesterday and there's no disease with the eye. I'm seeing my internist next Wednesday simply to rule out a sudden thyroid problem (I'm hypothyroid and take a low dose of Armour Thyroid for that). What happens? The holidays arrive and I fall apart. Santa's not going to be pleased with me!!

At any rate, I'm not reading more than a few brief blogs right now simply because it's very difficult to see the print.

Pris

Okay....I couldn't resist. It's the child in me!

THIS VIDEO WILL DISAPPEAR IN A FEW DAYS FROM JAN 15 SINCE I TURNED DOWN THEIR OFFER TO BUY IT. I'VE SEEN IT ENOUGH. THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.

The other singers are two of my longest time friends. Bet they'll be thrilled to see this!:-)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Didi Menendez, publisher, is interviewing the poets she's published over the years.

Thank you Didi. Go HERE to read her interview with me.

And....the second stop on my Virtual Tour of Sea Trails is now at CFSWarrior

Thank you, Terri, for hosting the second leg of our Virtual Tour.

Go to CFS Warrior blog to read more.

Thank you, Terri, for doing this. Lummox and I both deeply appreciate the effort it took you to participate.

Once again, ordering information. Sea Trails is sold by the publisher, Lummox Press, at www.lummoxpress.com. If you want a signed copy, say so in the special instructions box on paypal. The paypal button is found when you click on my cover at Lummox. The book is also available at Amazon, but there's no way to offer signed copies from there.

Pris

By the way, we're looking for a blog that would like to host the next stop. Just let me know. Ed Nudelman hosted stop number one and did a great job, too!

The Bomb...a great poetry project by S.A. Griffin!

I just submitted. Love the idea. If you're a friend on facebook, you'll find The Bomb among my fan pages. Submit ONE sheet of paper, front and back if you wish, printed out and mailed in with your name, location, and SASE. Watch the video!

Here, in S.A.'s words on the submission site:

Currently seeking international submissions of poetry to place inside the converted bomb. One submission per person, please! Subs must be flat and NO BIGGER than 8.5x11 inches. That means that your sub can be smaller than 8.5x11, but no bigger. Text/image on one or both sides.

If you are writing in any language that is not english, it would be nice if your native language were on one side of the piece and a possible english translation were on the other. I do plan on reading some of submissions at each and every stop along the tour.

If you expect to get anything back, please send with s.a.s.e. to:

S.A. Griffin
P.O. Box 29171
Los Angeles, Ca. 90029-0171

I will not accept any submissions that advocate or are violent in statement or purpose.

If your submission is kept for inclusion inside the belly of the bomb, obviously you will not be getting it back. I will have one time rights to publish your work in hardcopy form. Upon publication, all rights will revert to the authors. If you do not wish to see your work published and only wish for it to exist inside the bomb, please let me know.

In regards to the s.a.s.e, I would like to send something back to everyone who submits, but only if you send an s.a.s.e (stamped self addressed envelope) along with your submission.

I am not accepting electronic submissions, only hard copy. I want to know that you took the time to create it, and that you have actually handled the piece yourself. That it is something personal. I also do not have the time or the money to be reproducing things on my end, ink is expensive. I'm already spending time and money converting the bomb and documenting the entire thing. So please, no electronic submissions.

Spells

We see them from our boat,
these men and women dressed up
in Pilgrim clothes, as if Plymouth
is the new Brigadoon reincarnated
daily around a fake rock.
Had I been a real Pilgrim
I would've run off with a handsome
Medicine Man, slept on rabbit fur.
I would've warned my Medicine man
husband about the carnage already
brewing on the easterly winds.
I would’ve asked him to cast spells
upon all the birds in the forest
so their songs would bring peace
to land-greedy white men with guns
and Indians painting themselves
black and orange beside rising war fires.
Village and woods would be filled
with children of all colors,
beads clattering around their necks,
bellies filled with porridge.
I try to smoke the peace pipe with my lover,
one quarter Indian, himself,
but I never ran off with the Medicine Man
and the birds never sang their magic.
He slashes my throat with a word
and I bleed onto the deck until our boat
is drenched with the color of sunset.



from my book, Sea Trails(www.lummoxpress.com)
(this posting grew out of a discussion with an online friend about fake rocks and the Blarney Stone. Plymouth was our first stop on the '77 trip from Hull to Florida)

Posted by the CFIDS Association....what would you do if you were well today?

I took part in this survey. Seeing it put together in the video brings tears. We suppress longing for things we can no longer have or do and do our best to take joy from what we still can do. But ohhhh, if well tomorrow...the world waits.

The Virtual Tour of my book begins with Thirteen Blackbirds blog (Ed Nudelman)

An exciting new way to share a book has entered the blogging world. So many times an author can't do readings for time, financial or health reasons An author also usually can't tour far out of his or her geographical area.

This concept is called a Virtual Tour. How exciting! The idea is for a basic 'chunk' of information to go to each blog hosting the tour along the way, but with something new and unique added at each stop. Ed Nudelman has certainly taken this tour and made it his own. Thank you, Ed, for doing such a good job.

To read the first stop in the tour go to Thirteen Blackbirds. Please leave a comment on his blog. If you have any questions I'll be checking his blog and this one to answer them. When new things are featured, the tour will still be easily found in the top right column by clicking the 'Poet Series' link.

I'm also asking that any readers of my blog who both have a good readership and would be willing to host this tour for a week or perhaps longer volunteer a leg. I'll post links to all stops along the way. You don't have to have a poetry blog to volunteer. Lummox Press and I will send the basic package to you.

Now let's see if this is an effective way to sell more books! Thanks, all of you for participating via your readership!

Pris

Two bits of very nice news at one time!

I just checked my mail to find that one of my poems, Original Sin, from Sea Trails, that was published in The Wild Goose Poetry review, was just nominated for a Pushcart Prize for 2010, my second nomination this year. Look in the spring issue to read the poem. Thank you very much, Wild Goose!

My next email was from Pedestal Magazine telling me how much they enjoyed my book and will be running a review of it in their next issue.

I'm very pleased! Now, if a bunch more of my readers buy a copy of the book, that would totally make my day:-)

Pris

(Lummox Press, for signed and dedicated copy. Also available on Amazon)

I'm a cover girl:-)

Go to Red Headed Stepchild to see my cover graphic for the issue just out. This journal takes only submissions that have been rejected somewhere else and the issue is packed with fantastic poetry that other editors were unlucky enough to miss. Headed up by an excellent poet, this journal sings.

Scott Owens' review of my book, Sea Trails

Scott Owens is co-editor of The Wild Goose Poetry Review where this review appears this month. He reposted his reviews on his blog. Since the Wild Goose review page is in PDF, this link is easier to get to. Thank you, Scott. I'm glad you liked the book!


Sea Trails: Poems and 1977 Passage Notes, by Pris Campbell
Lummox Press (2009)
ISBN: 9781929878024

If you like poetry, you’ll love Pris Campbell’s new book Sea Trails (Lummox, 2009). If you don’t like poetry, even if you don’t understand poetry, even if you resent poetry and poets, you’ll love this book. If you like a story, if you like the sea, if you like memoirs, confessions, and reality shows, you’ll love this book.

It’s easy to be impressed with the creativity on display in Pris Campbell’s decision to juxtapose log notes from a sailing journey down the East Coast with highly personal and evocative poetry written about that journey. The complementation of prose and poetry, art and memoir creates a unique example of mimesis in action, a wonderful opportunity to speculate on the relationship between art and life, and the most enjoyable means of facilitating the comprehension of a poem that I’ve ever encountered. All that’s missing is the movie.

Read the rest of the review atScott Owens Musings Blogspot.

If accepted...

I'm going to participate in a research study on one aspect of ME/CFS by Dr. Nancy Klimas at the U of Miami Medical Center. I just filled in the paperwork they'll use to decide whether to accept me or not. This study involves 4 trips to Miami over a two year period, a thorough evaluation first visit (physical and cognitive), wearing a bracelet for two weeks after each visit to measure activity level and keeping a short online journal, provided by them online, of how I feel each day. This test is for genotype research that they're doing but they save your blood and when they gear up for a study on the retrovirus, my blood, with my permission will be used. They pay 20 dollars traveling expenses so gas will be paid for, which is nice.

Traveling is difficult for me, even though this is tops an hour and a half down there and my husband will drive while I stretch out in the back seat, but I want to do this since Dr. Klimas does outstanding research. It also will give me a feel of what they do down there since she does treat individual patients, too, but with a very long wait list. Just to be able to see her for a consult off in the future would be really helpful.

Dr Robert Keller, the immunologist who treated me for 10 years down in Hollywood, FL, before his untimely death this year, was friends with Dr Klimas and her fellow researchers, so that already validates my diagnosis for them.

Now to wait...

Pris

It wasn't the modem, by the way...

It was the DSl line. I'm glad it was that simple.

The discussions continue about the retrovirus found in the blood of those of us with CFIDS (ME/CFS). As expected, the research will have to be replicated many times over and then, if it holds up even for a subgroup, what antiviral will help is still another big question. Right now private labs are charging between 450 to 650 dollars for the testing. That's not paid for by insurance or Medicare. I'm sitting tight until more research comes in and prices go down.

The hardest part is the bouncing around of hope. When the work first was announced by the Whittemore-Peterson lab, The National Institute of Cancer, and the Cleveland Clinic, the first feeling of course was hope. As the days have gone by, the questions come in...is this a piggyback virus and not the cause...is this a correlation but not a causation...so many more. I'd held my hope to modest goals all of these years. This time, briefly, I allowed thoughts to soar that I might have my life back again, a life I'd convinced myself that I could survive without. I'd blunted all of my feelings in that direction.

Now I feel as if I'm on a seesaw. My emotions are all over the place and it's difficult.

I so hope this research takes us somewhere. At least for the first time, since signs of blood transmission have been seen in the labwork, the CDC and NIH are taking the illness more seriously than ever before. Research is gearing up in other places. This is a biggie, a first. I'm happy about that.

My husband drove me over to the ocean yesterday. That's always a centering place for me. It was late afternoon, still full light, but a white moon had already risen on the horizon. An east wind brought the scent of brine with it. It was lovely.

Modem Problems

My modem is dying. I unplugged it all night after it dialed ceaselessly for four hours late yesterday with me doing all of the 'reset' things to no avail, and it connected this morning but I don't know for how long. Since I still have no voice with this cold, my husband will have to make the call to Bellsouth, my server, and he may not until it starts dialing endlessly again. They have a way of testing them on their end. That's how I ended up getting this one when the old one died. Bottom line...if I disappear, I could be a few days missing while the thing ships.

Promise

The betrayed women sit
on my street corner.
Nails ragged.
Lipstick smeared.
Eyes puffed.
Labels jut out from their collars
like flags, marking them
untouchable.

The sky turns scarlet
and you kiss me.
Your words become as wee birds.
They sing promises to the rising moon.
My legs lift up to greet you
and I'm lost in the great web
of want.

I hope those birds still perch
on my bedpost come morn.



Pris Campbell
©2009



Published in Durable Goods Two, a mini-print.
Aleathia Drehmer, Editor

To see this with art on my website, go HERE.

Information from the International Fibro/ME/CFS group on Facebook

The site offers this information to freely share.


Fibromyalgia can affect every aspect of a person's life. While neither degenerative nor fatal, the chronic pain associated with fibromyalgia is pervasive and persistent. FMS can severely curtail social activity and recreation, and as many as 30% of those diagnosed with fibromyalgia are unable to maintain full-time employment. Like others with disabilities, individuals with FMS often need accommodations to fully participate in their education or remain active in their careers.

Fibromyalgia is often referred to as an "invisible" illness or disability due to the fact that generally there are no outward indications of the illness or its resulting disabilities. The invisible nature of the illness, as well as its relative rarity and the lack of understanding about its pathology, often has psychosocial complications for those that have the syndrome. Individuals suffering from invisible illnesses in general often face disbelief or accusations of malingering or laziness from others that are unfamiliar with the syndrome.

Common symptoms of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome:

Pain - The pain of fibromyalgia has no boundaries. People describe the pain as deep muscular aching, throbbing, shooting, and stabbing. Intense burning may also be present. Quite often, the pain and stiffness are worse in the morning and you may hurt more in muscle groups that are used repetitively.

With FMS there are 18 tender points that radiate pain on a daily basis.

Fatigue - This symptom can be mild in some fibromyalgia patients and yet incapacitating in others. The fatigue has been described as "brain fatigue" in which patients feel totally drained of energy. Many patients depict this situation by saying that they feel as though their arms and legs are tied to concrete blocks, and they have difficulty concentrating, e.g., brain fog.

Sleep disorder - Most patients have an associated sleep disorder called the alpha-EEG anomaly. This condition was uncovered in a sleep lab with the aid of a machine that recorded the brain waves of patients during sleep. Researchers found that the majority of fibromyalgia patients could fall asleep without much trouble, but their deep level (or stage 4) sleep was constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity. Patients appeared to spend the night with one foot in sleep and the other one out of it.
Sleep lab tests may not be necessary to determine if you have disturbed sleep. If you wake up feeling as though you've just been run over by a Mack truck—what doctors refer to as unrefreshing sleep—it is reasonable for your physician to assume that you have a sleep disorder. Many fibromyalgia patients have been found to have other sleep disorders in addition to the alpha-EEG, such as sleep apnea (as well as the newly discovered form of interrupted breathing called upper airway resistance syndrome, or UARS), bruxism (teeth grinding), periodic limb movement during sleep (jerking of arms and legs), and restless legs syndrome (difficulty sitting still in the evenings).

Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms frequently found in roughly 40 to 70% of fibromyalgia patients. Acid reflux or gastro esophageal reflux disease (GERD) also occurs with the same high frequency.

Chronic headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension-type headaches are seen in about 70% of fibromyalgia patients and can pose a major problem in coping for this patient group.

Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction Syndrome - This syndrome, sometimes referred to as TMJ or TMD, causes tremendous jaw-related face and head pain in one-quarter of fibromyalgia patients. However, a 1997 published report indicated that close to 75% of fibromyalgia patients have varying degrees of jaw discomfort. Typically, the problems are related to the muscles and ligaments surrounding the jaw joint and not necessarily the joint itself.

Other common symptoms:
Chest pain, morning stiffness, cognitive or memory impairment, numbness and tingling sensations, muscle twitching, irritable bladder, premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, the feeling of swollen extremities, skin sensitivities, dry eyes and mouth, dizziness, and impaired coordination can occur.

Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, and sometimes even the medications they are prescribed.

Aggravating factors - Changes in weather, cold or drafty environments, infections, allergies, hormonal fluctuations (premenstrual and menopausal states), stress, depression, anxiety and over-exertion may all contribute to fibromyalgia symptom flare-ups.

NOTES:
Did you know?????...
Florence Nightingale was probably the most famous non-royal person of the Victorian period. She helped develop modern nursing.

By 1896, Florence Nightingale was bedridden. She may have had what is now known as chronic fatigue syndrome and her birthday (12 May 1820) is now celebrated as International CFS Awareness Day.

As usual with fibromyalgia the amount of co-morbidities (other diseases) is high and may confuse the diagnosis. The fact that she developed her fibromyalgia after an apparent infection trigger made it called chronic fatigue syndrome and the infection itself is being accused of the symptoms. A recent biography cites brucellosis and associated spondylitis.

NOTE: Please invite everyone, our goal is to make it around the world and create an awareness so that FMS CFS and ME are not the invisible illness, or the illness that when you mention it you get asked questions that are too complicated to explain in a passing conversation..

YET ANOTHER NOTE: This is a Worldwide Event and can be celebrated at home or by contacting a local group. We are trying to create an awareness of the DATE and ILLNESSES; INTERNATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA AWARENESS DAY / CHRONIC FATIGUE / ME DAY

Please check out the LINKS which might lead you to a group in your area or just pass on the awareness to your friends... The pictures have added insight to many as well.

OUR VOICE IS POWERFUL!!! (On May 12, 2009, we started this virtual event with a goal of being heard around the world and we did...
"IT IS AMAZING TO SEE IN SUCH A SHORT WHILE...JUST HOW WE HAVE UNITIED PEOPLE FROM ALL ACROSS THE WORLD!!! WE WANT TO SHOW JUST HOW BIG OUR VOICE IS...AND BY ALL MEANS TO ANYONE WHO IS FROM SOMEWHERE NOT ON THE LIST...FEEL FREE TO POST ON THE WALL WHERE YOU ARE FROM AS i DO BELIEVE HAVING FOUND SUCH A HUGE VOICE GIVES US ALL A SENSE OF UNITY AND A FEELING OF HOPE!!!
The places are: All of the 50 states of the U.S.A.; 7 out of the 10 Provinces of Canada; District of Columbia; Federated States of Micronesia; Puerto Rico, Australia; Central America; South Africa; Japan; Italy; Scotland; United Kingdom; Portugal; Barbados; Norway; Sweden; Spain; Glasgow; England; Ireland; New Zealand; Wales, Isle Of Main."

Special book offer from Lummox Press

This came in the morning email from Lummox. It's a really nice offer. If you want a signed copy, leave that in the ordering instructions when you're on the Lummox site.

IF YOU WANT THE BELOW SPECIAL WHEN YOU ORDER YOU NEED TO ASK FOR IT!

Pris

From Lummox:

Hello again

Just a quick announcement I forgot to mention in the October newsletter. What with the holidaze and all coming up, I thought it might be nice to offer you readers a little deal: anyone who buys one of the following titles will also get a free Little Red Book to go with it (but you have to buy it from Lummox). Sea Trails with Hesitant Commitments by Pris Campbell; The Riddle of the Wooden Gun with Bone by Todd Moore; Down This Crooked Road with Any Abyss Will Do by William Taylor, Jr; and any of my books with The Hunger by RD Armstrong. If you buy a copy of The Long Way Home, I'll send you a LRB of your choice. This offer is good from now until Dec. 15th. Poetry makes a great gift.

--
Raindog
Lummox Press

Thank you Helen Losse for this wonderful review of my book, Sea Trails.

This is the first paragraph of a wonderful review written by Helen Losse, author of Better With Friends and the Poetry Editor of the Dead Mule School of Southern Literature


It's hard for me to envision a book of poems as a "page turner," but Sea Trails: Poems and 1977 Passage Notes by Pris Campbell is just that. The narrative is about a trip, taken by the author and a man called R, aboard a small boat named Little Adventure. Included within the 100-page volume are not only Campbell’s original notes and recent poems, written 30 years after the trip, but also, for those of us who are undereducated in nautical terms, a glossary of boating terms and asides, such as “How to lay a trot line for catching crabs” (p. 42) — woven into the body but printed on a gray background — along with maps, and a few well-placed black and white photos of the author in her younger days. There is even an entry called “While We Were Gone,” that lists news about Elvis’ death and the launchings of Voyager 1 and Voyager II (p. 88).

Click HERE to read the entire review. And buy Helen's book. Purchase information is on the list at Rank Stranger Press. I've read really good things about her book and am ordering it today!

Thank you Scott Owens

Since I can't get out to do readings (dizziness, loss of voice, etc), Scott Owens kindly agreed to read poems from my book when he has the opportunity over the next two or three months. Last night he took open mic at a Hickory reading for 10 minutes and sold three books. Scott, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

By the way, Scott has a new book coming out in the spring that can be preordered at The Main Street Rag under upcoming books. His current book, The Fractured World, published by Main Street Rag as well, is selling hand over fist. I love that book.

Lummox wrote me to tell me that SUNY (State University of New York) in Buffalo just ordered copies of my current book, Sea Trails, and the chapbook, Hesitant Commitments, that he published earlier. I don't have any idea how they stumbled across it, but I'm grateful.

Being a good blogger

Recently Robert Brewer posted the characteristics of being a good blogger. Among them were...blog regularly, even if once a week; try to find a theme for your blog so readers will have a feeling for what to expect and return.

I've decided I'm a terrible blogger:-) I've been running this blog for years and even though I do disappear at times I manage to get back once a week, but I have no theme. I play here. I post whatever comes to mind, be it music, a book recommendation, an art link. I'm all over the place.

I used to post more of my poetry but with more and more journals not accepting any poetry found on the internet already I've finally caved on that one and don't post it often. Only if I don't plan to submit it or else to a journal that doesn't mind.

I should start digging up older published poems, but my next book goal is a collected 'best of' poems, so I want to keep the poems to myself before the book. When I worked for the two years on my current book out, Sea Trails, I only submitted and published three of them. I kept the others under wraps. This book was and is special to me. It's the story told in prose (log notes and musings) and poetry of my 1977 trip down the east coast in my 22 footer. That journey was a turning point in my life. The tumultuous relationship with my sailing partner (husband for a moment in time after) only accentuated the fact that despite the despair of a deteriorating relationship, the sea...nature gives us its arms and welcomes us. A love such as that never abandons us. The sea fills me. I couldn't let go of those poems until they were ready to come together as family in my book.

The book can be ordered at www.lummoxpress.com. Click on my book cover and you'll go to a paypal site but if you scroll down you'll also find some of the poems in the book, and comments. Of course I wish everyone would read it, but..

So, I'll go on being a 'bad' blogger and hope some of you stick with me!

On a different note, late breaking research indicates the strong possibility that a retrovirus may play a large part in the illness I have. This is the first real hope for all of us in the history of this illness. More work is yet to be done and then possible testing to see if any existing antivirals will work to either eradicate it or at least moderate it. I can no longer remember being well. I want to remember again.

Jim Knowles wins the Poetry Superhighwy Contest!!!

A group mail came around yesterday from P.J. Nights, co-editor of From East to West. I was thrilled to see this. Jim has been an online friend for several years and a fine poet!

PJ's letter:
Ofttime contributor to our zine and onetime reader at an East/West event at the North Star Cafe in Portland, ME, Jim Knowles has won 1st in the lucrative Poetry Superhighway Contest with the following poem (a sonnet? ya!)



Breccia


A ship, they said: an island's more the case.
One touch of lips that tore four souls apart.
The clock has stopped above the campus lawn.
What matters most can hang you from a chain.

Three sets of feet were splashing in the foam.
Above canals, the windows cut the sun.
And there you are in photo number three.
You started skidding sideways on the road.

He leaves a candle where the future died.
There still are things that he can never say.
That grey flypaper will not let her go.
But nothing here exists that won't be gone.

The rubber mask, the hiss of oxygen.
Outside the silent river rumples by.


Jim Knowles (c)2009

Well, the cold of the season has me pinned!

I went to my doctor for the stomach virus I had and caught this bug. The irony, eh? I'll be back and, in the meantime, read my post on my book. I'm still excited about that. Off to nurse my sore throat and sinuses back to health for a few days.

Sea Trails, my first full length poetry/prose book is out!

I'm excited. My latest book is in print and IS NOW available for sale!

A few comments about the book:

Pris Campbell's latest collection of poetry, SEA TRAILS, is now available from Lummox and Amazon.com. This 100 page collection details a cruise Pris took in 1977 aboard a 22 foot sloop called Little Adventure, down the east coast from Mass. to Florida. The book includes Log Entries from the trip as well as charts and other interesting tidbits. It also includes poetry from one of the best poets active in the small press and online, to date. Copies are available on the Lummox site for only $15 plus postage and on Amazon. EBook copies are available in PDF format for $7. Email Lummox for more info. If you like to sail, enjoy good poetry, and still wear those vagabond shoes, you'll enjoy this book.
Lummox Press Release
(Note: At Amazon search under both the book title and my name to find it)

“We never see things in themselves, only things as they appear to our own particular sensibilities, moods, and associations. Nowhere is that clearer than in poetry, and nowhere in poetry is that clearer than in Pris Campbell’s new book, Sea Trails. Part travelogue and part poetic narrative, the book brilliantly counter-poses poetic revelations of the speaker as she moves from “in love” to “out of love” and prose descriptions of a journey down the American East Coast, including details of the physical workings of the journey and of the landscapes which sustain her. An emotional, sensual, and visceral joy to read.”

~Scott Owens

How interesting to actually see the source of inspiration from which Pris Campbell riffs in this fascinating collection. A master at the construction of tightly woven narratives, her work is like the boat itself upon which the reader sails along beside her on this incredible journey.
Carter Monroe

Pris handed me a one of her pre-release copies yesterday. I'm not a big reader but I love boating. I couldn't put the book down even when my bedtime came. I'm already rereading it and am telling all of my friends they have to read it, too.
Denise Ruthersford, long-time boater

Order from Lummox at www.lummoxpress.com.

***If you want to pay by money order rather than paypal, click on the link to my book on the Lummox site for mailing costs.***

Money orders should be made out to Lummox Press. Send to:

Lummox
c/o PO Box 5301
San Pedro, CA 90733.

Amelia, a beautiful song by Joni Mitchell

I was driving across the burning desert
When I spotted six jet planes
Leaving six white vapor trails across the bleak terrain
It was the hexagram of the heavens
It was the strings of my guitar
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

The drone of flying engines
Is a song so wild and blue
It scrambles time and seasons if it gets thru to you
Then your life becomes a travelogue
Of picture-post-card-charms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Others just come to harm
Oh Amelia, it was just a false alarm

I wish that he was here tonight
Its so hard to obey
His sad request of me to kindly stay away
So this is how I hide the hurt
As the road leads cursed and charmed
I tell Amelia, it was just a false alarm

A ghost of aviation
She was swallowed by the sky
Or by the sea, like me she had a dream to fly
Like Icarus ascending
On beautiful foolish arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

Maybe I've never really loved
I guess that is the truth
Ive spent my whole life in clouds at icy altitude
And looking down on everything
I crashed into his arms
Amelia, it was just a false alarm

I pulled into the cactus tree motel
To shower off the dust
And I slept on the strange pillows of my wanderlust
I dreamed of 747s
Over geometric farms
Dreams, Amelia, dreams and false alarms

And Death Shall Have No Dominion by Dylan Thomas, a poem I really love.

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

This excellent article was posted by CFSWarrier Blog

Thanks again, Terri, for posting this. It's very helpful. Readers will find a link to CFSWarrier in my list of active blogs at the very bottom of my right-hand column.

A View From Outside: How To Help A Person with CFIDS (PWC)

by Jean Mosher, R.N.

Twenty-five years ago I was working as a private duty nurse, and it was at this time I met a family member of one of my patients. She was very energetic and involved with life and is the most creative person I know.

As I recall, she had been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis and other assorted illnesses. Nothing was clear-cut and no definitive diagnosis was made for a very long time. It took some 12 years for that to happen.

As our friendship grew and I learned more about her medical history, I heard of the disease that was then called Chronic Epstein-Barr Virus, now referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome CFS) or Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS). Although Iam the nurse, I have learned a lot from my friend, now supposedly "the patient."

Observations About Energy: "Talking Hurts"
CFIDS is an all-encompassing and all-consuming disease. I hear about and have seen the consequences of brain dysfunction and the inability to comprehend simple information. Ordinary tasks in cluding walking can be very arduous for a person with CFIDS (PWC). It is not at all unusual to lose muscle strength and fall at any time. I have seen this in my friend. I hear that energy is very valuable, almost a gold standard for these patients. The energy it takes to even talk on the telephone is not easy, complicated by the persistent sore throat. Talking hurts. There are sleep disturbances. Going to bed does not mean "going to sleep." I hear of nights that no sleep was possible or, more usual, finally getting to sleep about 6 a.m. She also has times where her sleep is disturbed and can wake every couple of hours. After sleeping 10, 12, or even 14 hours, she still is exhausted. Sleep studies seemingly have documented this disturbance but relief does not seem to be within her easy grasp.

Finding a time to visit a person with CFIDS also is difficult. If the person has some energy, it may be more important, as they prioritize their time, for them to take a shower, feed themselves, do laundry, when possible, or see doctors. Social interplay takes work. Perhaps only one or two requirements for daily living can be accomplished and the remainder put off for a later date. I have found that people who are that ill usually do not use energy to make telephone calls for help, for they are too debilitated and are in bed.

A busy week for my friend would be to have three days outside the home, perhaps taken up with medical appointments. The rest of the week she is in bed. A good day would be to have enough energy to accomplish something for a two-, three-, or (pushing) a four-hour period in one day, including eating a meal and the preparation that goes with it. There are times my friend is too ill to eat, because as she explains it, it takes too much energy to prepare meals. Money is tight—and fast or prepared foods not an option.

Times of the year are also very important for my friend. The amount of sun and the temperature of the day have significant repercussions, as do the sudden barometric pressure changes. She does better when it is warmer and there is more light; she suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder. This seems to aggravate the CFIDS symptoms.

What Friends and Family Can Do
How to help as an outsider? To help a person with CFIDS is not to say: "Call me if you need me." That call most likely won't come. No energy to reach out. To help is to enable independence, recognizing that every motion is energy and little energy is available. Doing shopping, picking up prescriptions, doing an errand, making a meal are all valuable aids for anyone with CFIDS. Even offer to change a bed or clean. Help make phone calls, mail a letter, or offer to fill in forms when necessary; any little thing to a well person is a mountain to climb for a PWC.

It took time before I understood the brain dysfunction. At first I felt rejected, especially when my calls were not returned. I was looking at the relationship from my own perspective. I made a call; I expected a return call. I was a slow learner, but eventually, I came to understand when my friend would say she couldn't process information. Her brain had effectively shut down and she knew what she was talking about. There have been many times she was too ill to speak on the phone. I learned to respect that and now check with her when we settle into a conversation. Sometimes it will start out fine, and a few minutes into it, she can't follow all the details and will tell me she "can't compute." I have learned this is part of the process of the illness and no longer take it personally. I have also learned to listen to her and realize that as much as I may need to talk, I will wear her out and she will not hear anything. She will call me when she has the energy. Our friendship is not a one-way street, but a crooked road I have learned to negotiate.

Navigating The Crooked Road
Over time, I have come to understand the language of CFIDS. Everything seems to be mea­sured in energy units. When I tell my friend of how many miles I have walked to get some­where, she is exhausted just relating to it. I would suggest that others be sensitive to CFIDS lifestyles and the need for flexibility. PWCs do not always know when they wake up what the day will hold for them. Their lifestyle has been dramatically affected, if they have a life at all. I have worked with cancer patients, and I see them doing better than the CFIDS patients I know. Still, while this illness may put limitations on my friend, our honest communication has not diminished our friendship, or the essence of her.

To be a friend, I call regularly. I understand that if I get the answering machine, my friend can either be out, or out of it. Our mutual under standing is that she doesn't have to feel pres sured into returning my calls, and I want her to know I call to check in so she knows someone cares.

Be a friend to a CFIDS patient. It is worth the work. It takes flexibility, understanding, and patience, but it is worth it. It is not enough to be willing to help, you must act on that willingness. These are not dispensable people, but rather people who cannot be dispensed with. The spirit of a person never really leaves them, whatever their physical condition, and if the friendship is built on that and on love, you've got a winner.

Oranges and Sardines Self Portrait Issue is out!

Go HERE to read the issue in a new window.

Lots of poets in this issue many of you will recognize, and I have a couple of poems in here, too.

Enjoy! Hard copies will be available in about a week on Amazon.

Pris

Quandry

I've been at a real loss recently about what to post on my blog. Increasing numbers of journals won't accept any poems that appeared online anywhere, which still frustrates me since online is where many first found my writing. My blog posts on myspace were the reason two of my first poetry books were published as well as the reason for invitations to submit. Talk about a catch 22.

I'm not a poetry reviewer. I do that occasionally, but..

What I really enjoy is posting music, but that takes more time than most people want to spend on a blog.

Right now I'm thinking about posting one youtube a week that I think is of special merit and posting any other odd and sundry things that may come up inbetween.

Like some photos or published haiga.

You'll know when I do:-)

An exquisite video of Roy Orbison and k.d. lang

Featuring Gill O'Halloran's new poetry book!

Accomplished poet Gill O’Halloran’s first poetry collection, This 7 Year Old Walks Into A Bar, delivers the goods! Ms.O’Halloran has also published her poetry in numerous journals and has penned short stories, as well as a book on addiction. This 50 page collection is published by Indigo Dreams Publishing in England.

This book engaged me from the first poem. I found myself eagerly turning from page to page to read what would come next, then starting all over from the beginning and to read them again. Ms. O’Halloran’s words are fresh and deftly delivered. They helped me see the world through different eyes. What more can I ask from a book of poems? I

In Complicated Grief Reactions, we read:

I can still hear
the howl of the cockpit’s
buckled metal as it poured
hot lick flesh into fetid swamps,
leaving lumps of my husband
sinking under mud.

In Bindweed, a poem about abuse comes:

Adults who’ve been abused
tell you things you should never know
as soon as you’ve met them:
their doubts, their debts, when they have sex.
You ask unwilling questions to keep theirs at bay,
which they unfortunately mistake for friendship.

And I can’t resist one last quote from Coming Home:

Is this what coming home looks like?
A map redrawn, a ring worn inside out?

I could quote from the entire book, but would suggest you buy it and read for yourself. In this time of economic hardship, we all take more care in our choices of new reading material. You won’t go wrong choosing this collection.

And wait until you see the cover. It’s a classic!

You can purchase her book at Indigo Dreams Books

The Omo People

This is a lush video based on photographs of the Omo people of Belgium.

Recurring Dreams (also posted on Facebook)

(brief hiatus in my 'away' time)

I've been interested in my dreams, and the dreams of others, since I was in my twenties. The summer after my first year in grad school I worked in the state hospital where I was supervised by a man recently from the Jungian Institute in Zurich. He was working there while he built a private practice in Chicago and worked with my dreams at no charge. Ahhh the wonder of seeing the positive spin Jung put on dreams instead of Freud's downward spiral into 'everything is sex or agression'.

At any rate, I have a personal interest in recurring dreams since those are the ones that have usually spoken to me most powerfully over the years (Hey dummy, stop and look at what you're doing). Some dreams are just reviews of the day. Some dreams are responses to a chill in the air, a sound. In other words a lot of dreams are just dreams. Not so, in my opinion, with recurring dreams.

In my twenties when I was a bit wild in the free love times of the late sixties and early seventies, when I had been with a man who was 'wrong' for me (a term I can't define but knew it instantly), I dreamed that night about a girl from h.s., known for being promiscuous. In the dream she was handing out candy. When I was with a man 'good' for me, the dream didn't knock on my skull. Eventually, those times passed, as did the dreams.

Married to my first husband, a man who closed up emotionally on me two months into our marriage, for the remaining 5 1/2 years of our marriage, I dreamed of telephones. I couldn't get through. I lost the number. I could hear them but they couldn't hear me. The phone was broken. On and on. After the divorce I never had that dream again.

Several years back and off and on over the years I've dreamed about returning to school. I can't find my classes . I'm late, etc. Those didn't correspond to a particular period in my life and many people have had that dream. If I was supposed to learn something, I suppose I did, since the dreams wax and wane.

My most recent recurring dream of over a year now is me planning to go to school or move to a cold climate except no store anywhere sells warm coats or boots, not even when I get to the place I'm going. I search and search but am unprepared for the coldness. I have ideas about what that means but since it's current, read my poems to get some clues on that one.

So, I'm curious. How many reading this post remember your dreams and have had recurring ones you've figured out? Don't share what's too private to share. It's an interesting topic, though, and I hope I have some responses.

On Hiatus for a short while

I've finally decided that I don't want to find things 'just to post' while I'm still so sick with this latest virus right now. It's not fair to my readers and becomes just 'work' for me. I'm still swimmy headed, nauseated and weak. It's hard to focus on anything, so I'm taking a break. Yes, again.

I'll be back when I feel better. Hopefully that'll be sooner rather than later.

Riding the crest
of the morning waves
a bottle

Sent around by a friend to his email list and worth reading/watching

Disa Gudmundsdottir took me out into the barren countryside one day to show me the home studio of the Icelandic band, Sigur Ros. It was no more than a humble shack in the middle of nowhere. Sigur Ros has an enormous following around the world. Their music is so purely Icelandic, evoking the lonely landscapes of this northern nation.A few years ago, after many world tours, Sigur Ros returned home to play a series of concerts across Iceland. This home tour was filmed and released as a two-disc dvd called Heima ("at home"). I bought a copy as soon as it was released, and have nowwatched it five or six times. Heima won awards and was voted, by users of the Internet Movie Database, the best documentary of all time. Not sure about that lofty billing, but it is spectacular and heartwarming. You can easily see how humble the members of Sigur Ros are, and how, in their native country, they are not punished with celebrity.Heima is now on youtube, in ten parts. Here's the link to part one. I hope that youwill find time to watch the entire documentary. It is magical.

My note: This starts a little slow, but is well worth the lead-in time.

Heima : Part One


direct link is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNofqsFTW08

Oh, another good Clapton number

I haven't disappeared

I'm just not at the computer as much while my ankle heals. It still burns and swells more when I can't put it up and there's no way at this high table and drafting chair I use in here to do that.

I will return!

Pris

A really neat vid from National Geographic online

If you hit 'more videos' in the upper righthand corner of the video you'll find an amazing selection opens in a new window.

Still Got The Blues Gary Moore

Thanks, James Shepard, for turning me onto this great musician and performance. Wow!

Overdosing on Poetry

Growing up, we had a couple of poetry anthologies in our home and one other poetry book. The town library was a room about the size of our den and had a scant selection of books, none of them poetry. My parents enjoyed poetry, so I became a fan, too, returning to the anthologies to read and reread my favorites. I memorized The Highwayman so I could recite it to myself when I was away from the book. I was 14. Poems were rare and became jewels to be cherished. More and more I've realized that as the internet brings me poem after poem on a daily basis I don't cherish them as much. To be honest, I prefer going to youtube right now and finding a good piece of music. Yes, I do stumble across poems and poets I love and yes, I still do read some poetry every day. I admit I've lost the thrill of it, though (except when a winner of a poem comes down the pike). I no longer fondle the pages of a poem, sigh, come back to read and reread...there's no time. It's on to the next. I still love writing poetry, but I suspect my own poetry gets a cursory glance from the reader as a mound of poetry links to move on to after mine.

With a novel, we stick with a story until the book is finished. We immerse ourselves in it, become part of the characters and settings. We're not trying to read part of ten books at the same time so the author can have feedback..instantly.

Well, that's my confession. I want poems to be diamonds again. I want space and time to enjoy when I'm ready.

nodding off
another poem slides
through my hands

You've got to love Eric Clapton playing a reggae version of You Look Wonderful Tonight!

I've always loved his straight version of this song, yet can't get this version out of my mind.

Pris

Dr Robert Keller, R.I.P.

I received an email yesterday that Dr Robert Keller, the first doctor to finally help me with CFIDS and my doctor for 8 years before he first dropped Medicare, then closed his practice, died on Friday of a long illness. I knew that he left for health reasons but privacy is a huge thing so I didn't know it was terminal. This has been a huge shock. He was a brilliant doctor, knowledgeable, and very good with his patients.

A small part of an online resume for Dr Keller includes:

* a triple board certified physician

* Named as one of the 2000 Outstanding Scientists of the Century

* Elected to the Board of Governors of the American Academy of HIV Medicine of the State of Florida

* Serves on the National Practice Committee

* The Consumer's Research Council of America has named him as one of the Top Physicians in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2007 in the fields of Internal Medicine, Immunology and Hematology; he is featured in the: “Guide to America’s Top Physicians”

* In 1995 he founded Immune Balance Technologies. IBT develops technologies to modulate the human immune system, to treat disease, preserve wellness & reverse the aging process

* Over the last twenty years Dr. Keller has been involved in scientific research in both Immunology and Hematology

* Dr. Keller also treats patients with immune dysfunction through his medical practice The KBK Institute, a state of the art medical clinic for the cutting edge treatment of patients afflicted with chronic illnesses including: HIV, Hemophilia, Hepatitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Autoimmune diseases, pre and post Cancer care, chronic neurogenerative diseases and aging – which we view as a disease.


God speed, Dr Keller. Know that you made a difference!

EDIT: One of the comments indicated that the cause of death for Dr. Keller was Amyloidosis, a progressive, incurable, metabolic disease characterized by abnormal deposits of protein in one or more organs or body systems. I googled this and the cause is unknown except genetic factors seem to play a role.

Numerous people have visited, and still visit, my blog based on a search for Dr Keller and his cause of death. If you have a google account and can post, please do so. He touched so many lives, including mine.

Product comments have been deleted.

***********NOTE: See my blog of March 11, 2010. DR KELLER NOW HAS A PAGE ON FACEBOOK, STARTED THE DAY BEFORE BY HIS DAUGHTER. MY MARCH 11 POST GIVES A LINK TO THE PAGE.

Sprained ankle

I jammed my ankle between two hard things on Wed. Can't walk on it and need to keep in elevated until the orange on one side goes down. No way to elevate at this computer, so I'm again slow to respond and brief. I went to doc, but since I could still walk on it at that point...it had just happened, they didn't x-ray it, but that may yet need to be done since they said it should be 'deflated' in 2-3 days. Not happening. I won't be reading blogs until I can stay on longer but thank all of you who visit in the meantime.

Pris

Blue Fifth Collaborative Issue is out!!

It's a wonderful issue, thanks to editor, Sam Rasnake. You can see it HERE.

Scott Owens and I have collaborations in the journal along with other poets I really enjoy.

Pris

More about our Origins from National Geographic

I've always been fascinated by National Geographic articles, especially the ones about anthropological findings that shed light on what the world might have been like eons ago...our ancestors and the face of the planet, itself. I'm enclosing a photo from this article as well as a few teasers. It's worth the time to take a peek. Just click HERE.




In March of 1994 some spelunkers exploring an extensive cave system in northern Spain poked their lights into a small side gallery and noticed two human mandibles jutting out of the sandy soil. The cave, called El Sidrón, lay in the midst of a remote upland forest of chestnut and oak trees in the province of Asturias, just south of the Bay of Biscay.In addition to the fractures, cut marks left on the bones by stone tools clearly indicate that the individuals were cannibalized. Whoever ate their flesh, and for whatever reason—starvation? ritual?—the subsequent fate of their remains bestowed upon them a distinct and marvelous kind of immortality. Shortly after the nine individuals died—possibly within days—the ground below them suddenly collapsed, leaving little time for hyenas and other scavengers to scatter the remains.


The bones from El Sidrón were not Republican soldiers, but the fossilized remains of a group of Neanderthals who lived, and perhaps died violently, approximately 43,000 years ago. The locale places them at one of the most important geographical intersections of prehistory, and the date puts them squarely at the center of one of the most enduring mysteries in all of human evolution.



So, while the new genetic evidence appears to confirm that Neanderthals were a separate species from us, it also suggests that they may have possessed human language and were successful over a far larger sweep of Eurasia than previously thought. Which brings us back to the same hauntingly persistent question that has shadowed them from the beginning: Why did they disappear?




When teeth are imaged at high resolution, they reveal a complex, three-dimensional hatch of daily and longer periodic growth lines, like tree rings, along with stress lines that encode key moments in an individual's life history. The trauma of birth etches a sharp neonatal stress line on the enamel; the time of weaning and episodes of nutritional deprivation or other environmental stresses similarly leave distinct marks on developing teeth. "Teeth preserve a continuous, permanent record of growth, from before birth until they finish growing at the end of adolescence," Smith explained

A good post by Marcus Slease

A friend sent me the link to this post today. It's good reading...Is Poetry Special?? See what he says HERE Hit the back arrow or click on the upper tab in your browser to return.

Pris

Big Mama Thornton 1971

It was in about 1972 that I saw her perform in a small nightclub called Lennys on the Turnpike, north of Boston. What a night! Elvis took his hound dog from her original cut of it.

Billy Elliot on broadway with Elton John

I saw the movie. I would give anything to see it on stage. This video is exquisite!

Pete Seeger turned 90 on May 3 (Thanks Barbara Moore for posting about this on Facebook)

In my opinion, Peter Paul and Mary sang If I Had A Hammer better than any group of that time. This video comes with a short intro by Pete Seeger. I saw PP & M perform this in the sixties and they were dyanamite!

Go to Sam Rasnake's blog for this post

Sam's Blog...Only Chains We Can Stand

Thanks for posting these two videos, Sam.

Torn Shirt (from the Poem A Day challenges)

Sara glides onto the stage,
flower tucked behind her right ear.
You'd never guess she was forty
but her birthday was yesterday.
Her run in the play has ended.
She'd like to go back
to the beginning and start over but
the audiences want brighter eyes for the role.

The male lead still makes her shiver;
his hands turned the sky purple.
Her replacement has already
caught his eye, though,
and Sara's blank dance card sighs
from its drawer.

She bows, blows kisses into the darkness,
calls last farewell to the crowd.
She'll go out like Garbo
or Hepburn. Not like Blanche,
crying over some man's torn shirt.





(this is a slight revision of a couple of lines)

'Poetry month' has officially ended. While I didn't write a poem a day, I did write quite a few and some might make it into my queue for submission later. I used the prompts posted on Poetic Asides, a site run by Robert Brewer.Thanks, Robert, for your dedication in doing this.The prompt for the last day was Farewell, so the above poem comes from it.

Looking at past posts

This was posted close to when I began this blog in 2005. Hard to believe it's gone on this long. True to the header, it's been a little bit of everything. Turn up your sound for this one.

Blog post from February 2005

The new Moonset Journal is out!

Click to enlarge.

Photo haiga is expanding in Moonset and I'm grateful to have mine selected for three issues in a row now. Since it's a black and white print journal I can't share a link, but if you're into haiku, haibun, tanka, rengas, haiga, sum-e...more...from some of the finest international poets/haijin, go to their website (google Moonset) and subscribe. It's a fantastic journal.

John Sweet does it again!

Go to the Whistling Fire to read a short short story that'll knock you off your feet. It did that to me. I've read and admired John Sweet's poetry for years now, but not his short fiction so it was a special treat to see that he write it, too, both elegantly and powerfully. He writes it like...well, John Sweet.

Take the time. You won't regret it.

Pris

moonchild haiga

Click to see fullsize.

This image, with a different haiku is in the current Sketchbook Journal, May 2009.

Delayed grief reactions

When I was in my thirties, I did what Diane Keaton tells Woody Allen about a couple of years later in Annie Hall. I would imagine the death of my parents, cry, and think it would somehow prepare me for when it really happened. As any of you who have lost parents you loved already know, it doesn't work. I found that out when mine finally did die. My next really dumb thought was that once the worst had happened...I'd lost parents, all aunts and uncles, my older cousins...I could handle whatever life had to throw at me. As those of you who follow my blog know, I lost my cousin a few weeks ago. I cried at the time. I thought I'd gotten it all out, but it's been rebound time. My grief for her is suddenly immeasurable. I've started having the old grief dreams I had about my mother. Yes,it's still mother in them, again needing me to 'save' her from what is inevitable for us all. Dee has triggered them, though. So...I struggle along, try to get through this, knowing that stuffing grief doesn't work. I know that keeping busy does help, too. I'm doing that, as much as I can with an illness that limits 'busy'.

I don't need advice. I just needed to say this. So thanks.

a new blossom
opens in my garden
buzzing bee

More from the now infamous Susan Boyle

Link to Susan Boyle singing Cry Me A River on youtube. (I removed the embedded youtube since it was wider than my posting column.


This is a recording that was made by her in 1999~~ Isn't she fantastic??

Pris

The Glory of Love Lou Reed

I've really been getting into his music lately. Here's a nice one. Opinions? Anybody out there a Lou Reed fan? What's your favorite?



Lyrics:
You know, man, when I was a young man in high school
You believe in or not I wanted to play football for the coach
And all those older guys
They said he was mean and cruel, but you know
Wanted to play football for the coach
They said I was to little too light weight to play line-backer
So I say I'm playing right-end
Wanted to play football for the coach
cause, you know some day, man
You gotta stand up straight unless youre gonna fall
Then you're gone to die
And the straightest dude
I ever knew was standing right for me all the time
So I had to play football for the coach
And I wanted to play football for the coach

When youre all alone and lonely
In your midnight hour
And you find that your soul
Its been up for sale

And you begin to think bout
All the things
that you've done
And you begin to hate
Just bout everything

But remember the princess who lived on the hill
Who loved you even though she knew you was wrong
And right now she just might come shining through
And the -

- glory of love, glory of love
Glory of love, just might come through

And all your two-bit friends
Have gone and ripped you off
They're talking behind your back saying, man
You're never going to be no human being
And you start thinking again
bout all those things that you've done
And who it was and what it was
And all the different things you made every different scene

Ahhh, but remember that the city is a funny place
Something like a circus
or a sewer
And just remember different people have peculiar tastes
And the -

- glory of love, the glory of love
The glory of love, might see you through
Yeah, but now, now
Glory of love, the glory of love
The glory of love, might see you through
Glory of love, ah, huh, huh, the glory of love
Glory of love, glory of love
Glory of love, now, glory of love, now
Glory of love, now, now, now, glory of love
Glory of love, give it to me now, glory of love see you through
Oh, my coney island baby, now
(Im a coney island baby, now)
I'd like to send this one out for lou and rachel
And all the kids and p.s. 192
Coney island baby
Man, I'd swear, I'd give the whole thing up for you

Visit with an old friend

For my third 'away' in these 19 years of CFIDS, I had the pleasure of spending a long weekend with a friend of 30 years who lives north of me in Mt. Dora, FL. My husband dropped me off on his way to a Savannah wedding. We rested, talked and had a small outing each day. The first day we went to this beautiful restaurant for lunch. Mt Dora is filled with charming little places like this. The food was delicious!



Across the street was this neat old book shoppe!



The next day, we sat by the lake at a park for a while, not far from my friend's house. Two lakes are in the Mt. Dora area. The crowded part was on the other side. We had this side practically to ourselves. As an added delight, we stopped at a fresh market stand on the way and picked up fresh vegetables for our meal, plus a watermelon and bag of Georgia pecans, IN THE SHELL, for me to bring home. I grew up with pecan trees and my home town was 'the watermelon capitol of the world' (don't tell other towns who make that same claim). That made the outing extra special. Photos from the park are below.

A Passing

We left our answering machine turned off at home while I'm here in Mt Dora at my friend's and my husband is in Savannah. My cousin's daughter in law tracked me down with a message on Facebook late yesterday. Since she had no other way to find me, I'm glad I decided to check my friend's machine. My cousin, my dear like-a-sister first cousin, died in her sleep night before last. She had emphazema and was on home oxygen, but I never expected her to go so suddenly and without warning. Apparently, it was a heart attack. I was grateful that I was with a good friend when I got that message. I suppose I also have to be grateful that she didn't go through that terrible end stage of this illness of being unable to breathe. I'm trying to be grateful, but my heart is sad. Her space is empty now and I'll miss her.

This note is for you, Dee. Since I don't have access to my photos here, the bottom link leads to a private photo blog I kept up for a while. My fifth birthday party with Dee to my left. We were in 'mama Jackson's' back yard, our neighbor. My house was in out background.

Photo of Dee and me

away

I won't be on the computer again until next Tuesday. Full report then:-) In the meantime, a great shot of Paul Newman and JoAnne Woodward when she won the academy award for Three Faces of Eve. I love this shot of them.

long title for short poems

I
i wanted to write you
a love poem for poetry month.
the page is still blank.

II
my heart has shrunk.
it is a betel nut

More on the Cowboy Junkies...Sweet Jane

Watch this full screen if possible. The visuals are just too good to miss. Hit the icon on the right bottom of the video screen. The exit key will get you back to normal view mode.

Lyrics for Sweet Jane

Standing on the corner,
Suitcase in my hand
Jack is in his corset, and jane is her vest,
And me I'm in a rocknroll band hah!
Ridin in a stutz bear cat, jim
You know, those were different times!
Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse
And those ladies, they rolled their eyes

Sweet jane! whoa! sweet jane, oh-oh-a! sweet jane!

Ill tell you something
Jack, he is a banker
And jane, she is a clerk
Both of them save their monies, ha
And when, when they come home from work
Oh, sittin down by the fire, oh!
The radio does play
The classical music there, jim
The march of the wooden soldiers
All you protest kids
You can hear jack say, get ready, ah

Sweet jane! come on baby! sweet jane! oh-oh-a! sweet jane!

Some people, they like to go out dancing
And other peoples, they have to work, just watch me now!
And theres even some evil mothers
Well theyre gonna tell you that everything is just dirt
Yknow that, women, never really faint
And that villains always blink their eyes, woo!
And that, yknow, children are the only ones who blush!
And that, life is just to die!
And, everyone who ever had a heart
They wouldnt turn around and break it
And anyone who ever played a part
Oh wouldnt turn around and hate it!

Sweet jane! whoa-oh-oh! sweet jane! sweet jane!

Heavenly wine and roses
Seems to whisper to her when he smiles
Heavenly wine and roses
Seems to whisper to her when she smiles
La lala lala la, la lala lala la
Sweet jane
Sweet jane
Sweet jane



The PopReckoning site writes about the early Lou Reed version and the Junkies' version. Two quotes from the article follow:

“Sweet Jane” is memorable to many people for myriad reasons. Maybe it’s the washes of guitar sounds in the intro? Maybe it’s Lou Reed’s cool delivery? Or maybe it’s the emotional intensity during the song’s lyrical breakdown that is too powerful to be forgotten (Anyone who ever had a heart / They wouldn’t turn around and break it! / And anyone who ever played a part / They wouldn’t turn around and hate it!). And then there’s the great mystery about what the heck this song means. Who is Jane? Does she exist? Is this a love song about a girl? Is it a rock n’ roll song about anti-commercialism? Are the rumors true that “Jane” is code for heroin and this song is about Lou Reed’s addiction to drugs? Did he just want the opportunity to write a song so he could brag that he was in a band? Who knows and who cares. It’s just a sweet song that never gets old.

second quote:

High on my list of best cover songs ever created, Cowboy Junkies could teach a seminar about harnessing the magic of a classic song, allowing it to marinate with one’s own creative energy, and then standing back to let the sublimation put out something fierce (and arguably better). They reorganized the lyrics, laced in some seriously gorgeous guitar riffs, and produced some very sexy results. Inspired by Lou Reed’s slower live version, Cowboy Junkies mimicked his altered tempo and created almost a brand new song that Reed himself has described as “the best and most authentic version I have ever heard.” Wow! In such a bare-boned interpretation, I love how the original lyrics that are washed out by Velvet’s heavier guitars are actually able to shine beautifully in the Junkies version. Particularly, when Timmons sings “Heavenly wine and roses seem to whisper to me when you smile,” I fall in love each time I hear that. And each time I hear this song.

Misguided Angel..Video of the Week

Watch this in full screen for the full experience. I love this song. The video does it justice.




I said mama, he's crazy and he scares me
But I want him by my side
Though he's wild and he's bad
And sometimes just plain mad
I need him to keep me satisfied

I said papa, dont cry cause it's alright
And I see you in some of his ways
Though he might not give me the life that you wanted
I'll love him the rest of my days

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you til 'm dead

I said brother, you speak to me of passion
You said never to settle for nothing less
Well, it's in the way he walks,
Its in the way he talks
His smile, his anger and his kisses

I said sister, don't you understand?
He's all I ever wanted in a man
I'm tired of sittin' around the t.v. every night
Hoping I'm finding a mr. right

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a lucifer
Black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you til I'm dead

He says baby, don't listen to what they say
There comes a time when you have to break away
He says baby there are things we all cling to all our life
It's time to let them go and become my wife

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a lucifer
Black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you til I'm dead

Rumors of my abduction...

...have been greatly exaggerated. The big computer install began Saturday with my angel-in-disguise tech friend spending the day here getting my new Dell put together, attached to every gadget I had in the room and installing several of the major programs I use.

Norton Antivirus
Front Page 2000 (ancient, but it works and I like the version)
Office 97 (yes, it works with Vista)
Paint Shop Pro X2
Itunes (for my Ipod, but it's not great in Vista, so took it back off. The music on my ipod already will do just fine for now)

The week before I'd backed up obsessively to my second drive (which was to become an extra external hard drive) and my existing hard drive, but , so far, seem to have lost one of my favorite plug ins for Paint Shop and can't remember its name!

Since Saturday, I've added more programs. One small one crashed the machine. Forget that one. Another tiny utility CCleaner, which I use to free up my computer, froze on install even though the latest version is supposed to work on Vista. I'll try it again later.

The rest of the time has been spent in learning the new mail system, deleting triplicate copies of addresses imported to it, and adding some in that didn't get imported. Next came finding where things were in the control panel. Yes, I go in there a lot to fix things or find programs and why Vista changed the name of add/remove programs is beyond me. A challenge to the brain cells?? Google became my new best friend in locating things in the system.

Today was crash day. The few remaining programs and utilities can wait. I have a functioning computer now. Time to relax and enjoy it. Thank goodness for external drives. I had all of my files onto the computer in less than half an hour. (My MP3s took over 15 minutes of that...yes, lots of music!)

A bit more r & r and I'll actually start visiting blogs again.

Pris

an old adobe six

Wild Goose Poetry Review is out!

Click here to read the current Wild Goose Poetry Review. Another good issue. You'll find one of my poems in here from my collection, Sea Trails, that I'm in the process of submitting as a chapbook. You'll also find many good poems, stories, articles and reviews.

Exciting Breakthrough in CFIDS (CFS/ME) research

I had heard that researchers were getting close to finding a biomarker for this illness, which would carry with it all sorts of implications, such as a diagnostic blood test, carrying with it credibility of the illness and incentive to do more research into understanding and treating it. I've lost almost 19 years to this disease. I've dealt with doctors who've laughed in my face, who've told me it's 'all in my head'. Having this illness is hard enough. Being subject to redicule and doubt only compounds the problem. I'm fortunate in later years to have found doctors who do believe I'm ill, who treat me with dignity, and try their best with limited options to help.

I'm copying parts of the article from THIS LINK and hope those of you with CFIDS or who know someone with this illness will read it. Pass it on to anyone in your own lives who have this illness and may be as discouraged and frightened as I was for the first years after it hit me.

What if you woke up dizzy, disoriented, limp, confused, then turned to the profession that you always thought would help you, or try to at least, only to be told nothing was wrong with you? What if this went on for years and years until you finally knew you were on your own, that friends who'd disappeared would never come back, that you were bound to your home by the symptoms 90 percent of the time, that your life as you knew it was over? We finally adapt, like we do to most major events and losses in our lives. We cope. The thought that help may be on the horizon makes a huge difference, though.

copy paste:
International Press Release:


Noted Scientist Reports Real Progress in ME/CFS Research

Reported February 23,2009
by Dan Moricoli


"A biomarker for ME/CFS may be less than two years away." According to Dr.Nancy Klimas one of the pre-eminent, research scientists in the world on ME/CFS (also known as chronic fatigue syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis). We are closing in on being able to identify the root causes of a diseasewhich afflicts millions of people around the world. One that is poorly
understood and treated by the medical community."

Understand," she went on to say, the excitement rising in her voice, "that physicians practice, or at least strive to practice, evidence based medicine. The demands on a physician are so overwhelming that they are virtually forced to concentrate their efforts only on those medical conditions which can be clearly and objectively identified.

That is simply not yet the case with ME/CFS." She added with emphasis.

"Just think for a moment, what it would mean to the millions of sufferers of ME/CFS if any doctor could run a test which would clearly, indisputablyidentify the patient as having the disease, EVERYTHING CHANGES." Again,adding emphasis to her words as she spoke with great passion and concern.

"Drug companies will add untold millions in research in their rush to develop medicines to treat the disease. In short order, local physicians will finally be able to begin to identify, understand and treat their patients properly. No longer will those afflicted be dismissed by the medical community and, all too often, by their own family and friends as having that 'yuppie thing'."

Dr. Klimas shifted in her chair and with the precision and determination of a research scientist in both her eyes and voice went on to say. "There are at least three, perhaps even seven, sub-groups of what we call ME/CFS that are currently under intense research focus. They may be thought of as three to seven different conditions with closely related symptoms. As we identify and conduct more focused research on each of the sub-groups even more bio-markers will be identified and treatments developed over time."


ME/CFS is world wide problem that afflicts at least 28,000,000
people, perhaps many more than that.

Chiron Call for Punk Submissions

I love this journal. I just received an image in the mail announcing their latest call for submissions. Punk means off the beaten path, surprising, nonconventional, edgy. I'm going to shoot for it, but think most of my poetry is too tame. What about you?

Here are the specifics:

The editors of CHIRON REVIEW are reading submissions for an "All Punk Poetry" issue to be published Dec., 2009. Poetry, fiction, b/w line art, comics/cartoons, photos, nonfiction, whatever should be sent via snailmail with self-addressed, stamped envelope for reply/return to: Chiron Review, Attn: PUNK, 522 E. South Ave., St. John, KS 67576. Name and complete mailing address should appear on every poem, story, etc. Deadline: Sept. 1, 2009. Material is copyrighted in author's/artist's name. Payment: one contributor's copy with 50% discount on additional copies

Sketchbook is out!

Click HERE to read the new Sketchbook. It's an excellent issue. Three of my 'glass' haiga are in this issue, so hope you'll take a look at those and the rest of the journal, as well.