Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Dealing with Frustration

I'm writing this post and dating it for tomorrow, since by tomorrow I may be too dizzy to post coherently. My doctor's office just called. Another of the infections that have recurred over and over and plagued me since March is back again. Two bacteria this time. I have a reaction to nearly all antibiotics. Different reactions to different ones. This one makes me so dizzy for the first few days I barely know where I am. Nauseated, too. Then it generally levels out to a dizziness level that's no fun but I can deal with. This time, they're taking me up to the highest dose of the med, though, and I just hope that it doesn't mean the reactions will be worse.

My CFIDS doctor is an immunologist but he's not been able to find a way to stop these. I've been to a good urologist and been tested up the kazoo. In fact, my follow-up appointment had been set for this Wednesday when I last saw him for testing a month ago. Everything checks out normal, save for the enormous amount of inflammation in my system.

I haven't been comfortable or painfree even in the lulls since March. I'm having trouble dealing with this again.

Especially at Christmas.

I may delete this. I haven't decided yet.

lights
dance in my eyes
christmas tree


Pris

21 comments:

tom said...

pris, i will keep you in my prayers

chronic infections plus the cfids has got to be a downer - especially now

take care

know that there folks out here pulling for you

tom

Pris said...

tom,
that means a lot. thank you!

Michelle e o said...

Pris, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I'll be sending good thoughts your way. I've taken several antibiotics that made me dizzy and sick before. I describe it like how you feel when you get off a spinning ride at an amusement park it's really a bad feeling, especially when you HAVE to take it. It always helped me (a little bit) to eat crackers and drink ginger ale, but I'm sure you've been through it enough to know what your body needs.

Anyway, I sure hope you feel better soon.

Pris said...

cracker sound really good and usually do help. the thing of it is that i woke up with a bad stomach ache and a swollen belly early this morning that got worse during the day, despite gas-x. Stomach aches are not at all typical of me unless in reaction to a med, so i'm starting off with one strike against me. A short term stomach virus is going around down here so I'm just so hoping this is a coincidence and I'm not dealing with both.

thanks for your good wishes. means a lot.

erin said...

Pris... I am so sorry, especially at this time of year, but, I also think that the point of this community is so that we can reach out to you even when you want badly to crawl in a hole. Leave the post up. It is really how you are, and if this blog is a reflection of your life, then the shit belongs there along with everything else.

Also, I saw that you are struggling with issues that the Gas-X won't help? If you can get someone to find a health food store and can find something called "Super Papaya Enzyme Plus," I urge you to take some. It is the only thing that helped my upset stomach and gas when I was pregnant. Three of those puppies, and things were moving within minutes. It is all natural, and sugar free, so it shouldn't interfere with anything you are taking or make your stomach more upset (I feed them to my daughter--she's only eight--instead of Pepto), and they taste great because they are made from peppermint and papaya oil... I hope they help... for a photo of the bottle you can go to this addy: http://www.evitamins.com/product.asp?pid=626.

You will be in my prayers--E

Pris said...

hi erin
i'm in to turn off the puter and the med has hit full force...am pretty dizzy right now. thanks for reminding me that it's okay to show my clay feet, something very hard for me to do. despite all evidence to the contrary, i still try to think of myself as superwoman:-) thanks also for reminding me of the papaya. I took that once years ago and remember how nice it felt. Had forgotten about it. Will ask my husband to pick some up tomorrow. I like the peppermint in them, too...whenever i get nauseated, i always get a craving for peppermint.

now I'm going to stagger into the bed and just crash.

managed to do this i think with no typos. next obstacle is copying that word verification thing. think i can do it in less than three tries??

Lyle Daggett said...

Pris, just came by, sending my thoughts your way. Hope you feel better quickly. I'll come back next time I'm online and check for any news. Wishing you comfort and light.

mouse said...

Hi Pris, If I could, I would take some of this trouble off your shoulders. Viruses (is that a word?) really rule this earth. They have it planned to show up at a time when everyone is getting together and sharing hugs and kisses amongst other gifts. Have you ever taken Fish Oil? It's a great inflammation reducer. Get well soon. A Sante!

J.B. Rowell said...

Pris,
I'm praying for you and wishing you a Christmas miracle. I hope you are through this very soon.
Peace,
Julia

Shane said...

sending good thoughts your way

Coloratura said...

oh bugger... it sucks to be sick at the holidays... hell, it sucks any time... I hope you get some relief soon...

Berenice said...

Dear Pris I'm pulling for you. You don't need this, not now not anytime. I hope it eases for you. Sending you loving wishes, B xx

Pris said...

thank you all. i'm up and pretty out of it from the med and nauseated. am checking my mail through a haze and had to come on and let you all know how much your messages mean to me. you're the greatest!

Rae Pater said...

I hope you will improve a little so that you can enjoy Christmas day Pris.
I wish I could think of something to help.I don't know how you cope and still stay so active and cheerful! You're amazing!

Do take it easy.

Pris said...

Hi Rae
Being my friend helps, so , you see, you DO help. Thanks for your kind words. I'm checking email ever so often today, but am just gonna rest, otherwise.

Ellen M Johns said...

Thinking of you Pris and hope this is sorted out soon.

Pris said...

Thanks, Ellen,
me too!!

Brian Campbell said...

I'll be directing some Buddhist diamoku (Nam Myoho Renge Kyo's) your way: think of them as lazer beams blasting away those damned bacteria. Those & prayers... the deepest sense, it's the thought that counts.

Pris said...

Thanks, Brian
I appreciate that!

666poetry-finchnot said...

hi pris / / sorry it's been so
rough for you late lee / /

i got a very bad flu a couple
of months a go / that i can't seem
to recover from / the variety of symptoms are crzy / mind boggling

i keep dropping pounds / / every thing
hurts / / but i don't need to tell you
that ;)

i must say you are the only person on line i've ever open ed dialogue with concern ing "the pain"

it enters all pervasive lee in to
my writing over & over a gain / but i never name it


any ways / i do hope you are feel ing better / it does pass some times doesn't it / or perhaps i'm just so submerged in the pain i can't feel it any more / /lol / no no / i'm feel ing it /

take care pris / all ways grateful
you are here / it's support in a strange stranger friend kinda way


happy xmas / et al

~jennx

Pris said...

jennx
i don't know why we feel so embarrassed to admit to pain, but it happens and we feel that by talking about it we're 'complainers' or whatever. It's really hard for me to talk about, too, but there are so many of us who deal with it that maybe it's time that pain, like death, comes out of the closet. Remember when we couldn't talk about that subject, either, and people dying were so alone.