Friday, April 07, 2006

Two Poems in One

(Lorna Dee Cervantes--see my links list-- is writing a poem a day for Poetry Month. She times herself. Writes the poem in seven minutes, then gives herself 24 hours to let it sit and make minor revisions. I thought I'd give it a shot --though not every day--to see what happened if I was given less chance to censor myself. Here's two.)

Trombone Angels

The trombone angels have no teeth.
No ears. Lips like a frozen kiss.
They dress in black raincoats, shufffle
to fresh mounds in graveyards,
or bone-filled ditches in places
we've not heard of. They weep
for those who've lost heart
to buy lies or listen to stories
of lesser gods from bible-rumped
matrons who must show we're sinners
by the first stones they cast.

Below is an alternative experiment with the above poem. Thanks, Carter!

(note: last part slightly revised as of 5 30pm)

Trombone Angels (Version Two)

The trombone angels have no teeth.
No ears.
Lips like a frozen kiss.
Dressed in black raincoats,
they shuffle to fresh mounds
in graveyards
or bone filled ditches
at Auchwitch, Cambodia, Iraq.
They blow a sweet tune
for those who can no longer buy lies
from bible-rumped matrons
about lesser gods or justice
only for Jesus kissers
proving the rest of us sinners
by the first stones they cast.

The Towers

Their last dance was in the air,
ghost band hovering over the flames
behind them. What did they
think as they flew, ground rushing
so fast to meet sky?

Did some god reach
out and snatch soul from body
before flesh finally hit concrete?
Is that too much to believe?
Too much to hope for?

(This one feels unfinished...will do more work on it)


Geoff Sanderson said...

She hovers above the bay,
spitting words like bullets;
many score direct hits,
and men in creased black suits
and creased, white faces
fall, never to rise again.
Death Angel, she -
she who handles the weapon
of prosody like a well-oiled

My 3-minute tribute to P, the death angel :-)

Pat Paulk said...

Pris, I like version 2 of "Trombone Angels", but both are good. I like the image of "no teeth, no ears and lips like a frozen kiss." "The Towers" reminded me of
the movie "Free Jack" with Anthony Hopkins, Renee Russo, Emilio Estevez, and Mick Jagger. SciFi about people in the future snatching bodies from the past so they could continue to live on. Emilio was a race car driver and was snatched right before he crashed. Way too much said to say good poem and I hope so!!

Pris said...

Hi g
yours is the best poem of all lol.

Pat, thanks. I'll have to put 'free jack' on my netflix list. sounds good, and thanks for the comments.

Geoff Sanderson said...

re- Two Towers: no, it isn't 'unfinished' imo, Pris; to add anything to it would be to spoil it. After all, with such a subject, you must either say a little or a lot. Your dry, spare language here hits hard, says it all - no sentiment,but full of hope.

Pris said...

Thanks for that feedback, g.