Saturday, September 24, 2005

What Are Friends For?

Barb and I met when I was 29 and she was 32, in Boston. We worked together and played together. The male nude calendar was one of our more venturesome projects. More important, we became lifetime friends. I still see her almost every year. Before CFIDS, when I could travel, I went back to New England to visit her. Now, our times together are when she comes here. Our friendship continues, despite the many changes we've both gone through. Long term close friendships are a rarity and to be valued.

This photo was taken in 1989, the year before I became ill, in my back yard here in Florida, and it's one of my favorites taken over the years. Click to see a larger version.

This photo was in the Boston apartment where my first husband and I lived while he attended law school He snapped it as we were about to go out and hawk our calendar at Harvard Square. Barbara is one of the few friends who's seen me go through my many metamorphases (and husbands) through life.

Lastly, this one is of Barb's last visit, Feb 2004, over at the ocean, 3 1/2 miles from my home. Did I mention she's a fantastic cook? She spoils me every visit!

Other solid long-time go-back-forever friends, too. Don't feel ignored, guys...Margie, Mar, Joe more...

In your comments, describe a friend who's been there for you over the years, if you like...and in what important ways. I'm curious what makes some friendships click and not others. Yes, an unanswerable question, but I'd like to hear ideas, anyway.



Berenice said...

Three of the best!!
The friend who goes back the longest for me I have known for thirty four years and six months (plus nine). Our friendship and love for each other is unconditional. In recent years trauma has pulled us closer together, sealed the bond we share. And best of all, we have both learned that a hug is worth a million words. Yep, this wonderful lady is my mum, Liz.

The next person goes back some seven years. This lady was introduced to me as the girlfriend of the head chef at my then new job. He told me that we would get on. He had such a strong feeling on this and insisted we meet. When I saw her I knew he was totally right. Some people are meant to be friends. Marie (Ellen) is one. At the lowest point of my life she came to be by my side when I most needed her. That I will never ever forget.

And the last but no means least?? Well its you Pris. I have known you for three years in November. I feel like we have always known each other. You have listened to all my sadness and joy and dealt out the soundest advice and love. Meeting you was down to Marie. She had that same intuition that sent her my way. She knew we would click. And how right she was!! Pris, where on earth would I have been without you these last few years?

What makes some friends click and not others?
Embracing the bad times as equally as the good. A friend needs to be tolerant and know when to keep counsel and when to speak.

Liz, Marie, Pris...thank you.

Pris said...

What a neat comment...and thanks for naming me, too. I count you among my solid friends, too! Aren't we lucky??