Monday, July 10, 2006

My Last Love Poem

I want some swaggering,
cock-sure man
to write me a love poem,
to say thou and thee
and cliché up phrases like
breasts like ripe melons
and eyes bright as stars.
I want him to rhapsodize
about love everlasting
and throw in some lust, but

I think those love-sodden
days have swept past me,
the gate short-ended and barred.
My face is a road map for aging,
breasts, a compass pointing south.

Do I settle for rambling
about the old days, drag
out photos of past lovers, list
how many ways we did it
to bored cat and dog?

There must be another John Alden out there,
saving himself until now.

I'll put an ad in the paper,
search noted bottles at sea, perhaps
take out a pen and write
that sweet poem, myself.

I'll dig out some Schumann, slip
on that special silk dress,
lather chartreuse onto nails,
both fingers and toes.

I'll tape the poem
to my bedpost, carve
it into my headstone,
where bluebirds can gather
and remaining friends sigh
she was adored to the end
when my body makes love with the worms.



Lee Herrick said...

I love this, Pris.

Pris said...

Lee, thanks...I've fiddled and nitted this until I could no longer 'see' it, so the feedback is most welcome.

burning moon said...

yo homie, it's good. not sure about the rhythm here and there. it has it definitely, but I'd like to hear you read it. any chance of you recording it?

Pris said...

Hi burning,
The line I'm most unsatisfied with, rhymn-wise, is the last one. I keep changing and none satisfy. If you're of a mind to, point out the other places where you felt the rhythm was off since that's what I've been working at in my last nits, not content.

When it's completely nitted, I'll read it and add it to my Odeo page. The Odeo players are so wide if I just post here, it throws my right column to the bottom. I can link to that page.

Pat Paulk said...

Been doing the same thing lately, fiddling and fiddling with the last lines until I can't see anymore. I think you fiddled this nicely!!

Pris said...

Hi Pat
maybe we should set down our bows for a while lol

pepektheassassin said...

Try ending it: she was adored to the end.

Period. (?)

Plus Ultra said...

Poetry is a good cure for chronic fatigue syndrome, both for the poet and the readers, this poem was certainly a lift for me, a love poem with just that little bit of difference to make a difference. Can I link?

Pris said...

Pepe...that's a good suggestion. I'm going to try that and read it over to myself to see if I feel a closure in beat, as well. THANKS!!

Plus Ultra
Thanks. I would love it if you link. I'll check out your blog, too, when I'm a little more awake later in the day. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note.

polona said...

this is quite wonderful!

Pris said...

Thanks, polona.:-)

Anonymous said...

I love this poem it's so real. Why not try using this arrangement as it will create a lull and deathly silence (no pun intended. Hope this is helpful to you.

When at last my body sleeps

Pris said...

I'm pretty wed to the worms image (a revision of the old ending) right now, but that line was too long, so just took out 'at last'..think it works better now. Thanks for your comments.