Friday, November 10, 2006

Ode to a Banana

Men frighten me.
They creep around,
take my measure,
denigrate my size,
claim men don't really
want big ones,
but say
Freud was dead right
about penis envy
in the 'weaker' sex.
I ignore them.

Women peel me
with gentle hands,
swallow me
with warm mouths.
I have given my life
more than once
for the love
of a good woman.

Once I starred in a movie.
W.C. Fields.
Mae West.
Lord, that woman
adored me.

Now that
was my finest hour!

(c)Pris Campbell

(this is a whimsical poem I wrote a couple of years ago)


Pat Paulk said...

Where do you put the batteries in a banana?? Love it!!

Pris said...

Pat...tsk tsk:-) (You'll have to have a seance and ask Mae)

Berenice said...

Hmmm...maybe I should see that movie!! B xx

Pris said...

You're never seen it before? She's on the steps and sees him..says in that 'Mae West' voice of hers. 'Are ya happy to see me, or is that a banana in your pocket?'

luc u! said...

though i have not been so adored by such company, i can relate to much of this poem.

Pris said...

hi luc..i know you can:-)

mouse said...

I think I'll go into my kitchen and have a banana right now!

tom said...

better than the story of the guy in canada in the pumpkin patch


Michael Parker said...

I don't know how you do it, but you do. This is a great read.

Pris said...

mouse, tom, michael...thanks for the read and comments. mouse..hope you enjoy that banana. i know it'll be grateful to you:-)

tom, the man in the pumpkin patch? if you come back tell me what i missed. sounds intriguing.

tom said...

this was sent to me by a friend - i assume it is not a true story - but still a good laugh

a young man was driving home late and had had a bit too much to drink. the country road was empty and he saw a large field of pumpkins. besides being drunk he was a bit horny so in his adled mind he thought "pumpkins are soft and squishy inside and nobody is why not"
He pulled over to the side of the road and went into the patch. When he found a pumpkin the right size and one that seemed to be ripe enough, he cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy himself. He never noticed the other car or the footsteps.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said the arresting officer.
"I walked up to the young man and he's...just working away at this pumpkin" she said. "I walked up and said 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surpised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said....' A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'"

He was charged with lewd andlascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication. (purportedly in Calgary)

Another urban legend probably.

Pris said...

Well, legend or not, that's a funny story and he really had a great comeback:-)

polona said...

i really enjoyed this one, pris!
and lol to tom's story :)

Pris said...

Thanks...and leave it to Tom to have such esoteric information, eh?:-)

Ellen M Johns said...

Ha, in the film I saw, I think it was a pistol that fiesty old Mae saw...

Pris said...

Nope, different film:-) He was definitely glad to see her in this one lol.

pepektheassassin said...

Sounds like my Ipana Pearlywhites poem I did one Poetry Thursday...

Pris said...

Where is it?